2024-25 Wrap

The Big Wrap Up

All righty, then.  So The Hockey Gods have spoken, and whether you can blame/credit the Ghost of Raffi Devers or not, the 2024-25 Stanley Cup has an absentee Boston angle, because - of course it does. The Florida (Marchand) Panthers won the Stanley Cup.  Yay.  Please let's NOT have another former Bruin/Stanley Cup appearance at City Hall.  Mayor Wu, don't do it.  Marchand won.  But not with the Bruins.  The Cup does not belong at City Hall.

But Evan Jenkins does.  Evan Jenkins, an honest to honest GoBruins rookie went wire to wire to bring home the Littlefield Cup.  His 59.5 points eclipsed Randy Oldfield's otherworldly performance of last year.  

Hey, Evan, do yourself a favor and read the Rules, particularly Rule 2.  Then claim your prize.  The Playoff Pool Panel-O-Judges are standing by waiting for your call.

As for the dreaded Claude, once again the losing team scored one goal in the last game, ergo the person who ended up second from last in the Littlefield wins the august Claude Cup - again again.  (This is the third year in a row that the Final losing team has scored just one goal in the final game.  Once again we had a tie.  Gus Funnell and Ulf Rolst each were lolling in the second from last position.  Which means we had to go to the "Total Goals Scored" tie breaker.  Ulf predicted 24 total goals.  Gus came in slightly higher, with 427 goals.  Gus - you were soooo close!  But not quite close enough.  Ulf Rolst, skate on over to the Playoff Panel-O-Judges and claim your prize, but beware of Rule Number Two, aka The Dreaded Rule. This is not a  joke.

The rest of you - scatter already!   It's almost July.  Time for hockey to go to sleep, at least for a wee bit.

So that's it, kids. Another year is past the half-glass and down the river. Congratulations to all (both) Cup winners.

As usual, if you happen upon me somewhere on a beach between Eastport, ME and Savannah, Georgia you spring for the chowder and I'll spring for the single malt.

Until then, grab a towel and head for the beach because the Pool is closed.

See you next year.

Go Bruins!

The 2024-2025 Pool

The Mad King

Imagine if Gary Bettman was elected Commissioner of the NHL of the Free World.  And decided to make some changes. 

First, since Hockey was Great when Foster Hewitt was calling games from the Maple Leaf Gondola, all current hockey-related TV and cable contracts were hereby cancelled. Hockey-talk and broadcasts could only go out via AM radio. And he made it so.

Next, he announced that he was going to annex Triple A Baseball and make it part of The League. Also he was annexing Scottish Premier League Football and making IT part of The League (because, face it, Scottish Premier League Football is Scottish and English Premier League Football is, well ... English.)  Also, he was going to take over that weird roundball league in Italy that attracts those super tall guys from Yugoslavia and Division 2 colleges and also make it part of The League.

Finally he had decided that since Hockey - which would hereafter be called The One Big Beautiful Game - had an imbalance of goals scored versus basketball baskets made, that hockey (TOBBG) would be henceforth played on blades with a round ball, and renamed Basketpuck. 

How long would King Bettman be allowed to continue?  A year?  A month? A week?  A press conference?

Lucky for us King Bettman is not the King, and all we have to be concerned about is your Boston Bruins did not make the playoffs this year and can NOW start planning for next year's iteration when they will be bigger and badder and better than ever when the next season rolls around.

Provided we're all still here when the season rolls around.

Until then, strap on two helmets, an extra mouth guard, and 47 layers of extra groin protection because you are going to need it.  

Welcome to the 2024-25 "It Can't Get Worse Than This, Can It?" Stanley Cup Playoff Pool.

The 2024-2025 Playoff Pool Rules and Prize Descriptions 

This year we are again using a Progressive Scoring System (PPS). 

Two points will be awarded for picking the correct Opening Round series winner. 

Three points will be awarded for picking the correct Second Round series winner. 

Four points will be awarded for picking the correct Conference Final series winner. 

And five points will be awarded for picking the correct Stanley Cup Final series winner. 

In addition, one bonus point will be added if you ALSO pick the correct number of games that are contained in a series. 

For example, you sagely pick the Bruins to win the Opening Round in six games. 
-If the Bruins win in five games, you get two points for picking the winner. 
-If the Bruins win in six games, you get three points (two points for the win, plus one bonus point.) 
-If the Bruins lose in six games, you get no points. 

HOWEVER, if you predict that a series will go seven games yet pick the losing team, you will be awarded one bonus point for coming pretty damn close. 

There is also a Bruins bonus point, but you'll have to read the rules below to find out more about that detail.

There are TWO prize categories: 

The Littlefield Cup: awarded to the person who accumulates the most overall points. 

This year's Littlefield Cup prize: a poke in the eye, because we've been getting poked in the eye, and elsewhere for a while and we'd like to share the experience, PLUS a set of stainless steel Boston Bruins themed coasters upon which you can rest your laurels, or high-alcohol beverages. 

PLUS three (3, III) ABF fiction multi-packs or single-titled favorites from the good people at Gusbooks.com to be chosen by your Playoff Pool Panel-O-Judges - similar to titles shown below. You'll be able to give us broad parameters, but we'll pick out the titles. And you'll damn well enjoy them, or you'll have some 'splaining to do! 

(If nothing else, you may learn how to suave the dames with nothing more than a dangling cigarette, a wrinkled shirt, a dimestore tie, and a ring of smoke circling your oddly mishappen head.)

PLUS a theoretical pack of Angry Scotsman chewing gum, so minty fresh it'll put the starch back in yer kilt, and arrrrguably the best prize of this august pool.  (Winners are invited to mosey down to Rule 2A.1. for an exciting update about this fine offering!)

The Claude Cup: named after Claude Lemieux, this Cup celebrates whining and misery and is awarded to the person coming in dead-freaking last place, as determined by your Playoff Pool Front Office Panel-O-Judges.

Because some of you miscreants appear to try pretty damn hard to win the Cellar Spot we have introduced a secondary series of caveats to the Claude.  If the losing team scores no goals in the final game, the Claude will go the person who finishes last.  If the losing team scores one goal, the Claude will go to the person who finishes second to last.  Two goals = third from last. Three goals = fourth from last.  And if the losing team scores five goals, and still loses the Stanley Cup (!) the person who finishes fifth from last will win the Claude, and we'll wash your car.

This year's Claude Cup prize: a really really red shirt featuring the name of the only bete noir bete-er than Gary Bettman, and his favorite dacha-land, provided the shirt is still available when the playoff Season is concluded.  And if it's not, you'll win a proverbial too long, and too red tie.

Rules.

Rule 1.

The GoBruins NHL Stanley Cup Playoff Pool is the auldest continuously operating pool of its name in the world.  As such, its rules, if not sacrosanct, are creatively paginated.  You can only win one Cup a year. If you come in first in two categories, your Panel-O-Judges will arbitrarily and capriciously decide which Cup you will hoist.  You must submit an entry during each round in order to be eligible for a prize. As of the writing of this rule, there are no known exceptions to said rule.

Rule 1(B).  Scoring

This year all scoring is awarded based on the Progressive Scoring System (PPS.)  Two points are awarded for picking the correct Opening Round series winner, three points for picking the correct Second Round series winner, four points for the correct Conference Final series winner, and five points for the correct Stanley Cup Final series winner.

Rule 1(B)(1). Ancillary Scoring (aka the Northwest-By-Fredericton Rule)

A bonus point will be added if you pick the Boston Bruins to win a series in four games and they win said series in four games. This point will be in addition to the Rule 1(B) bonus point.  

Rule 2.  Claiming a Prize (aka The Dread Rule, aka the Kevin)

If you happen to win a prize, you must email the Pool within two weeks of said winning to collect said winnings, otherwise said prize will default to last or next year's same Cup winner, provided they, too, email the Pool within that selfsame two week period to collect said prize.  Why do we have this foolish rule? Because we do. And because we want to reward the bored few who happen to have read this far down in the rules and pretend to understand them.  Rule Two does not apply to the Bettman Cup if it is to be presented in any given year.

Rule 2(A). Prize Availability

1. The company that created, sold, and supplied Angry Scotsman Chewing Gum no longer sells or supplies this formerly most awesome box of pictured robust awesomeness.  As such, ye canna gi it na mur.  

2. Compliance with any prize mailing is entirely dependent upon the energy level of your Panel-O-Judge's at the conclusion of the Playoffs, their collective access to a boat, or to a  salt-water beach. If ye win a prize you'll git wha ye git an you'll like it.  Or complain.  But ye'll do nae complaining ta us. 'Cause we will nae be able ta hear ye.

Rule 3.  Wagering

This is a contest of skill and unadulterated chance. No wagering please. Entrants must be 18-years-of-age or older or younger to play.

Rule 4.  Disqualifications.

Islamic extremists; members, supporters or apologists of Hamas; Donald Trump, senior or junior; Elon Musk, or any of his babies or baby mamas; Doge; anyone who uses Doge as a verb; any adult who plays dodge ball; RFK Jr; non-alcoholic liquor; RFK Jrs creepy voice; inflation; stock market crashes; Peter Navarro; Karoline Leavitt; anyone who uses a K in a name that 'should' have a C, or vice-versa; supporters of the CCC; Nathanial Forrest; Forest Gump; Patrick Rothfuss; Kvothe; Baste; anyone who knows what the previous four words mean; Ed Markey (yep, even with all this going on he is still a terrible Senator);  Joe Kennedy - for losing to Ed Markey; Tristan Casas (just because);  Robert Kraft; the perpetually over stimulated, overly hyped BoSox radio announcer who sounds like he is selling socks on a TV38 info-mercial ("Devers has just walked for the fourth time in two games! He's a walk machine!!); laser-in-lieu-of-chain-gangs; Roger Goodell; the NFL Rules Committee; the NHL Rules Committee; Dr. Jill Biden (for letting him run!); Joe Biden's entire White House team; every damn member of Congress except Cory Booker; the invisible post-speech Cory Booker; anyone who thinks that Maine lobstermen kill whales; Canadian lobstermen; Canadian lobsters; langostino 'lobsters'; anyone who has ever eaten a langostino 'lobster'; the whackjob I saw put on a bib to eat baked stuffed lobster at Legal Seafood; anyone who is older than three who puts on a bib to eat anything; members, living or dead, of the Westboro Baptist Church; persons not possessing a current library card; direct descendants of King Edward the First, King George the Third, or Samuel Johnson; and, families, friends, supporters, cohorts or concubines of Massachusetts politicians whom we abhor are not eligible to participate - you know who you are.

Rule 5.  Military Credit

Active and former members of the Armed Forces will receive 1/2 bonus point.  Email us your military affiliation and the point is yours.  Active members of armed forces working against the good guys will be penalized two points. If you have to ask who the good guys are you will be penalized three points

Rule 6.  Read a Damn Book

If it is to be presented in any given year, the Gusbooks.Com Cup shall be awarded to the person whose chosen goaltender 1) plays in at least ten playoff games, and 2) has the lowest goals against average.  Successive tie-breaking categories shall include a) total goals scored against, b) total saves made, c) total minutes played, as determined by your Panel O' Judges.  In the event that more than one person picks the same goalie, the Gusbooks.Com Cup shall be awarded to the individual who comes closest to the MIDDLE of the playoff pool pack.  Entrants make their Gusbooks.Com Cup designation at the beginning of the Pool. Additionally, no one can win the Gusbooks.Com Cup two years in a row. As such, last year's Gusbook.Com Cup winner is encouraged to participate, but s/he/their getting nothing if s/he/they technically win again this year.  The next in person will, instead, get the Cup. 

Rule 7.  Late Entries (aka The Winnipeg Rule)

We view late entries the way a 22-year old Newport socialite views 90-year old billionaires - we'll take em, but we'd prefer something a little less ripe.  Late entries will be penalized one point for each day that they miss the deadline.  Late entries from Manitoba will be penalized three points for originating from Manitoba.

Rule 8.  Standings

A rolling and semi-accurate leader board will be posted throughout the playoffs.  Said leader board will be regularly audited by our Panel-O-Auditors.  Anyone submitting an entry into this pool shall be immediately appointed to said Panel-O-Auditors.  Said appointment shall expire three hours after the last between-glass announcer leaves his or her game-time spot during the last game of this year's Final Round.  The term 'This Year' shall mean this year.  Members of the Panel-O-Auditors are expected to notify the Playoff Pool Panel-O-Judges if anything looks wrong with said Leader Board.  Said Panel-O-Judges are expected to take action, immediately, or otherwise, upon said notification. If said Panel-O-Auditors does not notify the Panel-O-Judges the leader board will continue on -- blissfully unnotified.

Rule 9.  SPAM

If you want out of this foolishness, drop us a note and, sha-zam ... you're out of the pool. 

Rule 9(A). Cookies.

We don't know how to make or use cookies, other than cookies that are actually cookies (as opposed to 'cookies' which are actually 'cookies.')  As such, any use of 'cookies' that happen to be associated with this Pool that are not cookies did not start with or otherwise involve us. This only applies to Pool participants who happen to live or visit countries that are located either in or outside of Europe, or North America, or any continent that is either adjacent or next to a continent that is adjacent to Europe or North America.

Rule 10.  Rule Ten.

The total number of entrants in the Pool shall be limited to the first 100 persons whom the Playoff Pool Panel O' Judges decide to let join said Pool, unless said limit is raised by an arbitrary and capricious ruling of said Panel.  There shall be no entry number 45 or 47 in the Pool. If you have to ask why, you are hereby disinvited from said Pool.

Rule 11. Mutability.

All decisions of the Panel-O-Judges are final, and not subject to review, but can be changed at a moment's notice, with or without a moment's notice.

Rule 11(A) Mutant Policy

There is something called the GDPR which refuses to identity its full name, but insists that everyone pretend to conform to its dictates, among which is a rule (or rules) governing the storage of data, including your data, and how it is used.  For example, we are supposed to let you know that we have your data (your email address) because you gave it to us. But you already know that you gave it to us because you gave it to us.  We are also supposed to let you know that we will use your data (your email address) to send you email.  But you already know that too because we send you email.  We are also supposed to let you know that if you want to keep getting email from us you don't have to do anything - which is fairly presumptuous because that means you can be an uninvited, uninvolved slug and we will continue to email you. Which we won't.  Finally, we are supposed to give you a way to make us stop emailing you, which we have been doing since this, the World's Longest Continuously Operating Pool of It's Name, has been a Pool (see Rule 9 above.)  We also have to tell you that our Privacy Policy has been updated in line with new data protection laws.  Which it would be, if we had a Privacy Policy. And if we were of the mind to follow the dictates of something called the GDPR.

Rule 11(A)(1)

Brexit/COVID/Bettman/Trump. Pick your poison. But don't share it with us. We don't like poison.

Rule 11(A)(2)

Scotland.

Rule 12.

The number of rules applicable to the Pool shall number no more than eleven.

That's it.  Entry forms are available. We now declare the 2024-2025 Stanley Cup Playoff Pool open. 

Let the games begin.

 

Parade O' Past Winners

GoBruins Playoff Pool Parade O' Past Winners

The Littlefield Cup

2024-25 You!

2023-24 Randy Oldfield, New Brunswick, Canada

2022-23 Andrew Parker: Massachusetts, USA

2019-20 Ulf Rolst: Massachusetts, USA

2018-19 Emily Parker: Alaska, USA
2017-18 Peter Swiatkowski: Massachusetts, USA
2016-17 Jesse Conklin: Massachusetts USA
2015-16 Randy Oldfield: New Brunswick, Canada
2014-15 Ernie Fleming: USA
2013-14 Andrew Smith: Indiana, USA
2013-13 Shane Parker: Massachusetts, USA
2011-12 Gus Funnell: New Brunswick, Canada
2010-11 Chris Nandor: Washington, USA
2009-10 Wilfred Goodwin: Nova Scotia, Canada
2008-09 J.D. Chesloff: Massachusetts, USA
2007-08 Shane Parker: Alaska, USA
2006-07 Jim Lahue: Texas, USA
2005-06 Andrew Parker: Massachusetts, USA
2004-05 cancelled due to avarice and greed
2003-04 Gus Funnell: New Brunswick, Canada
2002-03 Jim Lahue: Texas, USA
2001-02 John Palumbo: Ontario, Canada
2000-01 Eric Hodges: Earth
1999-00 Joe Boden: England, UK
1998-99 Tim Falconer: Canada

The Spencer/Zombo Cup

2020-25 Judicial Exhaustion

2019-20 COVID exclusion

2018-19 St Louis - BAH. No one picked em
2017-18 Shane Parker, Alaska, USA
2016-17 Andrew Smith, Indiana, USA
2015-16 Anne Allen: Newfoundland, Canada
2014-15 Don Allen: Newfoundland, Canada
2013-14 Ian Wilson: New Brunswick, Canada
2013-13 Andrew Alexander: Vermont, USA
2011-12 Kristy Gleason: New Hampshire, USA
2010-11 Emily Hurney: California, USA
2009-10 Adam Ziaja: Massachusetts, USA
2008-09 Peter Swiatkowski: Massachusetts, USA
2007-08 Don Allen: Newfoundland, Canada
2006-07 Kirk Leudeke: USA/Iraq
2005-06 Gord Ace Payne: Manitoba, Canada
2003-04 Bruce Spencer: California, USA
2002-03 Kristy Gleason: New Hampshire, USA
2001-02 Ernest Hollett: Canada
2000-01 David Andre: Rhode Island, USA
1999-00 Dave Parker: New York, USA

The GusBooks.com Cup

2020-25 Judicial Exhaustion

2019-20 Anne Allen: Newfoundland, Canada

2018-19 Don Allen: Newfoundland, Canada
2017-18 Ernie Fleming: North America, Earth
2016-17 Ulf Rolst: Massachusetts, USA
2015-16 Jim Lahue: Texas, USA
2014-15 Peter Swiatkowski, Massachusetts, USA
2013-14 Lenny Sorenson: Massachusetts, USA
2013-13 Randy Oldfield: New Brunswick, Canada
2011-12 Andrew Smith: Indiana, USA
2010-11 Don Allen: Newfoundland, Canada
2009-10 Bruce Spencer: California, USA
2008-09 Jim Littlefield: Rhode Island, USA
2007-08 Ed Rodowitz: Florida, USA
2006-07 Andrea Lindgren: California, USA
2005-06 Bruce Spencer: California, USA
2003-04 Kirk Leudeke: USA + Gord Ace Payne: Manitoba, Canada
2002-03 Joann Howes: Massachusetts, USA
2001-02 Andrew Parker: Massachusetts, USA

Special thanks to GusBooks.com, our generous sponsor.

The Bobby Orr Cup

2020-25 Judicial Exhaustion

2019-20 COVID Exclusion

2018-19 Tim Falconer: Ontario, Canada
2017-18 Joe Boden: New Zealand
2016-17 Jim Lahue: Texas, USA
2015-16 Tim Falconer: Ontario, Canada
2014-15 Tim Falconer: Ontario, Canada
2013-14 Len Evitts: USA
2013-13 Don Allen: Newfoundland, Canada
2011-12 Andrew Parker: Massachusetts, USA
2010-11 Ed Rodowicz: Florida, USA
2009-10 Gus Funnell: New Brunswick, Canada
2008-09 Jim Lahue: Texas, USA
2007-08 Ian Wilson: New Brunswick, Canada
2006-07 John Palumbo: Ontario, Canada
2005-06 John Palumbo: Ontario, Canada

The Bettman Cup

2020-25 Judicial Exhaustion

2019-20 COVID Exclusion

2018-19 Ulf Rolst: Massachusetts, USA
2017-18 Kevin Vahey, Massachusetts, USA
2016-17 Delia Martin, New Brunswick, Canada
2015-16 Kristy Gleason: New Hampshire, USA
2014-15 Shane Parker, Massachusetts, USA
2013-14 Gus Funnell: New Brunswick, Canada
2013-13 Gord Ace Payne: Manitoba, Canada
2011-12 Chris MacDonald: Ontario, Canada
2010-11 Peter Swiatkowski: Massachusetts, USA
2009-10 Ulf Rolst: Massachusetts, USA
2008-09 Emily Hurney: Massachusetts, USA
2007-08 Gus Funnell: New Brunswick, Canada
2006-07 Johnny Gage: Earth
2005-06 Adam Zaija: Massachusetts, USA
2003-04 Michael J. Byrnes: Massachusetts, USA
2002-03 Pat Houda: Sweden
2001-02 Kristy Gleason: New Hampshire, USA + Ian Wilson: New Brunswick, Canada
2000-01 Shane Parker: Massachusetts, USA

The Claude Cup
2024-25 You!

2023-24 Kevin Vahey, Massachusetts, USA

2022-23 Don Allen: Newfoundland, Canada

2019-20 COVID Exclusion

2018-19 Joe Boden: New Zealand
2017-18 Gord Ace Payne - Hat trick!, Manitoba, Canada
2016-17 Shane Parker, Massachusetts, USA
2015-16 Andrew Alexander: Vermont, USA
2014-15 Paul Swiatkowsi: Massachusetts, USA
2013-14 Kevin Vahey: New Hampshire, USA
2013-13 Andrew Smith: Indiana, USA
2011-12 Gord Ace Payne: Winnipeg, Canada
2010-11 Nate Parker: Maine, USA
2009-10 Jim Lahue: Texas, USA
2008-09 Mike Landers: England, Great Britain
2007-08 Tom Poulin: Rhode Island, USA
2006-07 Maria Swiatkowski: Massachusetts, USA
2005-06 Ian Wilson: New Brunswick, Canada
2003-04 Ross Connell: England, UK
2002-03 Gord Ace Payne: Manitoba, Canada
2001-02 Marc Brisson: Earth
2000-01 Gus Funnell: New Brunswick, Canada

Hoot mon!


Slainte.